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| This does not compute |
| 03.31.04 (6:33 pm) [edit] |
[i][Ed. note: Please excuse any self-indulgent whiffs you may get coming off today's entry. [b]fling fling! [/b]will return to its' usual inanity soon.] [/i]
[i][b]Sometime in my mid-twenties, [/b][/i]I realized: I'm just not cut out for casual relationships. By that I mean, not cut out for casual dating, casual sex, that sort of thing. I'm too sensitive, too serious, too something. I just can't do it.
[i][b]Casual friendship, yes.[/b][/i] We all have our ideas of the multiple levels of friendship, defined individually, and sometimes it's nice to just have a friend you see only once in a while, and then there's no implied commitment to up the level of your friendship. You're comfy being casual.
[i][b]But as far as [/b][/i]dating, sex, and love goes: well, I can't help myself. I am a serial monogamist and I like it that way. But even within the confines of that monogamy (hmm; that sounds restrictive--how about "friendly confines"? haha), I don't like having just a sex buddy or a guy to "fall back on" when I'm feeling lonesome. I don't think that's fair to anyone, and it makes me feel strange, so I don't do that. And by the time I was 30, all I wanted was love. Just, love. Simple, happy, sweet love. I don’t think that’s too tall an order. I’m not looking for a husband. Just happiness. I deeply crave someone I can be with who will love and respect me the way I do him. And I thought I had that, till recently.
[i][b]Now that I am 34, [/b][/i]fresh out of that relationship, in which I loved him more than anyone before, I find myself rudderless. I had what I wanted, and now I don't have it anymore. The reasons why aren’t that important, but to me, they are poor reasons. They are different reasons from the usual ones, but they still don’t make sense to me. What is important is that I am stuck, still deeply in love, while the other party is free. The other important part is, I thought I knew him. I thought my judgement of his character and his emotions and wants and needs was sound. It wasn’t. This makes me wonder: did I ever know him at all? The love that I thought was there: was it ever, really? It seemed perfect to me. Yet it wasn't, and I had no idea. Scary.
[i][b]And it makes me nervous[/b][/i] that I won’t find someone else, that I won’t find true love. I thought that’s what I had.
[i][b]So,[/b][/i] between damn job applications and interviews, and the new [url=http://www.camera-obscura.net...]Camera Obscura[/url] album (thank you for the tip, [url=http://42short.blogspot.com]James[/url] ), between gardening and enjoying the lovely spring, I’ve been spending all my time wondering what happened (despite the explanations I’ve received, I still wonder what the hell just went on), whether it could have been prevented somehow, and when I’ll find love again, and who that will be. I wish I knew already. :)
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| It's my blog... |
| 03.28.04 (8:35 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]...and I can whine if I want to.[/b][/i] :)
[i][b]This is my blog.[/b][/i] There are many like it, but this one is mine. That being the case, I'd like to introduce, once more, today's guest: Mrs. Dorothy Parker. She's gonna break it down for ya. I don't actually have to be here at all; I plan to nip outside for a walk while Dot says what she's got to say here. Don't like today's entry? Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.
[i][b]This pretty much sums it up:[/b][/i]
[i][b]Threnody[/b][/i]
Lilacs blossom just as sweet
Now my heart is shattered.
If I bowled it down the street,
Who's to say it mattered?
If there's one that rode away
What would I be missing?
Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.
Eyes that watch the morning star
Seem a little brighter;
Arms held out to darkness are
Usually whiter.
Shall I bar the strolling guest,
Bind my brow with willow,
When, they say, the empty breast
Is the softer pillow?
That a heart falls tinkling down,
Never think it ceases.
Every likely lad in town
Gathers up the pieces.
If there's one gone whistling by
Would I let it grieve me?
Let him wonder if I lie;
Let him half believe me.
[i][b]Light of Love[/b][/i]
Joy stayed with me a night --
Young and free and fair --
And in the morning light
He left me there.
Then Sorrow came to stay,
And lay upon my breast
He walked with me in the day.
And knew me best.
I'll never be a bride,
Nor yet celibate,
So I'm living now with Pride --
A cold bedmate.
He must not hear nor see,
Nor could he forgive
That Sorrow still visits me
Each day I live.
[i][b]Somebody's Song[/b][/i]
This is what I vow;
He shall have my heart to keep,
Sweetly will we stir and sleep,
All the years, as now.
Swift the measured sands may run;
Love like this is never done;
He and I are welded one:
This is what I vow.
This is what I pray:
Keep him by me tenderly;
Keep him sweet in pride of me,
Ever and a day;
Keep me from the old distress;
Let me, for our happiness,
Be the one to love the less:
This is what I pray.
This is what I know:
Lovers' oaths are thin as rain;
Love's a harbinger of pain-
Would it were not so!
Ever is my heart a-thirst,
Ever is my love accurst;
He is neither last nor first:
This is what I know.
[i][b]A Portrait[/b][/i]
Because my love is quick to come and go-
A little here, and then a little there-
What use are any words of mine to swear
My heart is stubborn, and my spirit slow
Of weathering the drip and drive of woe?
What is my oath, when you have but to bare
My little, easy loves; and I can dare
Only to shrug, and answer, "They are so"?
You do not know how heavy a heart it is
That hangs about my neck- a clumsy stone
Cut with a birth, a death, a bridal-day.
Each time I love, I find it still my own,
Who take it, now to that lad, now to this,
Seeking to give the wretched thing away.
[i][b]Indian Summer[/b][/i]
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
[i][b]Faute de Mieux[/b][/i]
Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme-
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time.
[i][b]Men[/b][/i]
They hail you as their morning star
Because you are the way you are.
If you return the sentiment,
They'll try to make you different;
And once they have you, safe and sound,
They want to change you all around.
Your moods and ways they put a curse on;
They'd make of you another person.
They cannot let you go your gait;
They influence and educate.
They'd alter all that they admired.
They make me sick, they make me tired.
[i][b]Experience[/b][/i]
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter.
[image]Sulkbrarian_465221 648.gif[/image]
[i]"Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."[/i]
[i][b]Bric-a-Brac[/b][/i]
Little things that no one needs-
Little things to joke about-
Little landscapes, done in beads.
Little morals, woven out,
Little wreaths of gilded grass,
Little brigs of whittled oak
Bottled painfully in glass;
These are made by lonely folk.
Lonely folk have lines of days
Long and faltering and thin;
Therefore- little wax bouquets,
Prayers cut upon a pin,
Little maps of pinkish lands,
Little charts of curly seas,
Little plats of linen strands,
Little verses, such as these.
[i][b]Incurable[/b][/i]
And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned;
The calmer, I, to see it true
That ways of love are never new-
The love that sets you daft and dazed
Is every love that ever blazed;
The happier, I, to fathom this:
A kiss is every other kiss.
The reckless vow, the lovely name,
When Helen walked, were spoke the same;
The weighted breast, the grinding woe,
When Phaon fled, were ever so.
Oh, it is sure as it is sad
That any lad is every lad,
And what's a girl, to dare implore
Her dear be hers forevermore?
Though he be tried and he be bold,
And swearing death should he be cold,
He'll run the path the others went....
But you, my sweet, are different.
[i][b]Fable[/b][/i]
Oh, there once was a lady, and so I've been told,
Whose lover grew weary, whose lover grew cold.
"My child," he remarked, "though our episode ends,
In the manner of men, I suggest we be friends."
And the truest of friends ever after they were-
Oh, they lied in their teeth when they told me of her!
[i][b]Mortal Enemy[/b][/i]
Let another cross his way-
She's the one will do the weeping!
Little need I fear he'll stray
Since I have his heart in keeping-
Let another hail him dear-
Little chance that he'll forget me!
Only need I curse and fear
Her he loved before he met me.
[i][b]But Not Forgotten[/b][/i]
I think, no matter where you stray,
That I shall go with you a way.
Though you may wander sweeter lands,
You will not soon forget my hands,
Nor yet the way I held my head,
Nor all the tremulous things I said.
You still will see me, small and white
And smiling, in the secret night,
And feel my arms about you when
The day comes fluttering back again.
I think, no matter where you be,
You'll hold me in your memory
And keep my image, there without me,
By telling later loves about me.
[i][b]Distance[/b][/i]
Were you to cross the world, my dear,
To work or love or fight,
I could be calm and wistful here,
And close my eyes at night.
It were a sweet and gallant pain
To be a sea apart;
But, oh, to have you down the lane
Is bitter to my heart.
[i][b]Summary[/b][/i]
Every love's the love before
In a duller dress.
That's the measure of my lore-
Here's my bitterness:
Would I knew a little more,
Or very much less!
[i][b]The Lady's Reward[/b][/i]
Lady, lady, never start
Conversation toward your heart;
Keep your pretty words serene;
Never murmur what you mean.
Show yourself, by word and look,
Swift and shallow as a brook.
Be as cool and quick to go
As a drop of April snow;
Be as delicate and gay
As a cherry flower in May.
Lady, lady, never speak
Of the tears that burn your cheek-
She will never win him, whose
Words had shown she feared to lose.
Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you-
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.
[i][b]It's a doodad kind of town,
S.[/b][/i]
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| O, frabjous day! Callooh, callay! |
| 03.21.04 (9:06 am) [edit] |
[i][b]I chortle in my joy,
S.[/b][/i]
[i][b]Ooh, P.S.! [/b][/i]Borrowed this quiz from a fellow tBlogger. I kinda liked it. Tell me your answers!
[i]If you...[/i]
[b]1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?[/b]
I talked about this once with DJ. Although we discussed the interior design more. We’ve got it all figured out! A lovely Pan-Asian place with lots of exotic woods and stones and orchids and frosted green glass and suchlike. Pretty, no?
[b]2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?[/b]
Ladies’ vintage accessories. Vintage meaning, to me, the styles I like, the 1920‘s-1960‘s.. Hats, hatpins, handbags, scarves, gloves, jewelry, possibly a few pieces of shoes and clothing, and housewares. Certainly I would use these to help decorate my store. But I would sell mostly accessories. And it would be called “Madge”. I don’t know why. But there is a giant pink and black sign out front that says, “Madge“. Maybe because I like a vintage store called [url=http://www.maudevintage.com/]“Maude”[/url] so much?
[b]3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?[/b]
I have several ideas. I would write tons of biographies. And children’s books. And cookbooks. And poetry and short stories. Like that.
[b]4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?[/b]
Speech, debate, and (if it can be “taught”--my classes did not teach me much), creative writing.
[b]5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?[/b]
First, it would be called “Twee-er than You”, and second, it would, as promised, put the entire current twee wild rumpus six feet under till you couldn’t even remember the band names, and the whole world would wear my buttons. :)
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| Spring fling fling! |
| 03.20.04 (11:07 am) [edit] |
[i][b]Transition[/b][/i]
Dorothy Parker
[i]Too long and quickly have I lived to vow
The woe that stretches me shall never wane,
Too often seen the end of endless pain
To swear that peace no more shall cool my brow.
I know, I know- again the shriveled bough
Will burgeon sweetly in the gentle rain,
And these hard lands be quivering with grain-
I tell you only: it is Winter now.
What if I know, before the Summer goes
Where dwelt this bitter frenzy shall be rest?
What is it now, that June shall surely bring
New promise, with the swallow and the rose?
My heart is water, that I first must breast
The terrible, slow loveliness of Spring.[/i]
[image]Sulkbrarian_137477 8503.jpg[/image]
[i][b]And welcome to it.[/b][/i] Fortunately, there are many diversions to occupy the mind...so if it isn't entirely wonderful, we can still say, and mean it, Happy Spring. :)
[i][b]For instance,[/b][/i] I’ve been enjoying some pretty fair [url=http://www.stlcardinals.com]Cardinals[/url] exhibition baseball, and looking forward to the season as always. That’s certainly one thing I will miss hugely when I move from Missouri. What am I going to do without my Redbirds? Yeah, yeah, satellite. But it won’t be the same. I’ve lived in Missouri for twenty years, and have gotten to go to least one game for the last several seasons. We’re getting a [url=http://stlouis.cardinals.mlb....]new stadium[/url], so I’m not sure I’ll be able to catch a game this year (tickets being roughly eight grand apiece in 2004). And of course, [url=http://www.baseballhalloffame...]Jack Buck [/url] is no longer with us. That fully halves the fun of the radio broadcasts (I mean, good ole loopy [url=http://stlouis.cardinals.mlb....]Mike Shannon [/url] is always a gas, and the rest of the guys are pretty good too, but…Jack was the shit and that’s all there is to it--an [url=http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb...]unparalleled sports announcer[/url]. And that doesn't even touch what kind of a marvelous human being he was. Say what you want about all the others; there will never be another Jack.).
Y’all know our [url=http://www.foxsports.com/cont...]Joe Buck[/url]. We’re awfully proud of him, and I really miss him calling a lot of our games, but he should be around some. He’s a chip off the old block, and that’s high praise indeed. He’s just a fine person, and a very promising broadcaster. You’ll be hearing more from him; I guarantee it. The Buck clan is full of talented kids--I went to college with Joe’s younger sister, [url=http://www.jbucks.com/clay/ab...]Julie[/url], and we worked at the same radio station for a while. She’s done really well for herself, too.
[i][b]Some of you[/b][/i] ([url=http://ladyblog.tblog.com]ahem[/url]) are still battling snow, for heaven's sake. But here in the fabulous Midwest, temperatures were just right for me to go outside yesterday and do some early container planting. I also sowed a lot of seedlings for my garden. I'll transplant those outdoors after the last frost (which should be sometime around the middle of April). Last week, I put in some tulip, pansy, daffodil, and alyssum for my aunt. Her last frost will be earlier than mine, and the long-range forecast looked promising, so I just forged ahead. Besides, all that stuff was popping up all over her town, so I figured it was safe. My new/old “boyfriend”, Nathan, her 9-year-old next door neighbor, always helps me plant. And then he pulls crap like running through the flowerbeds after I’ve gone home. He is alternatively good and evil. I want to kiss and smack him both.
[i][b]For my indoor flowers,[/b][/i] I’ve potted the usual early suspects: miniature iris, hyacinth, daffodil, and crocus--to go with my hardy begonia, which has now made it through three winters. I’ve also done my mini kitchen pots of sweet basil, cilantro, flat leaf Italian parsley, oregano, spearmint, and chives. I’m probably going to pot some rosemary and thyme if I can find space for them. I didn't keep fresh herbs in the kitchen this winter; stupid. I also like to make bigger, outside herb pots for the porch…maybe they help keep away certain wee flying beasties, and maybe not (wives' tale?), but I like to see them growing in the sun. They don't do well when I put them in the ground, though, I discovered.
[i][b]I'm going to grow my favorites,[/b][/i] which give a lot of color and don‘t make a lot of work to maintain: vinca, moonflower, johnny jump-up, petunia, pansy, viola, Shasta daisy, impatiens, morning glory, sweetpea (I’m gonna try again…they got really out of hand last time I attempted these), and I have some alyssum almost ready to go for edging and ground cover. I was going to try again with some flowers I didn’t do well with in the past, but I think I’ll just stick to the familiar this year. I don’t want to have to deal with a lot of delicate flowers when I finally get a job and relocate. So, no clematis, foxglove, gladiola, fuschia, heliotrope, or violet this year. My outside bulbs are really coming on, and they will have to be enough.
[i][b]This year as well,[/b][/i] I decided against dianthus. I adore it, but oh my golly, the constant deadheading. I can’t stand it. No, thanks. I’ll have enough of that with impatiens, sweetpea, and petunia, and when it’s time for azalea, too. (Basically I’m just an incurably lazy “gardener“, which is why I don‘t raise roses.)
[i][b]One thing[/b][/i] I don’t have here is flowering trees and bushes. Around the neighborhood, but not in my yard. Just holly and berry bushes, some iffy peony, and the azalea I tried to save last fall didn’t make it. But one of these days, I’m going to have tulip trees, rhododendron, redbud, dogwood, that old standby rose of Sharon, cherry blossom, and if I ever live in the south, my most favoritest tree ever, magnolia. They do okay in Missouri, but it's kind of the same thing as salmon you have fresh in the Northwest, versus salmon you get when you're landlocked in the middle of the country. Just not the same. A couple of years ago, one incredibly muggy June when I was in Atlanta for the ALA conference, we took a day trip to the beautiful [url=http://www.uga.edu/profile/ca...]UGA[/url] campus, to check out their new [url=http://www.slc.uga.edu/]Student Learning Center [/url] as it was being built. I was overwhelmed by the sheer size of the magnolia trees and of the blossoms. Trees taller than the buildings; blossoms as big as your head. And the fragrance...heavenly. Of course, everything in Athens [url=http://www.uga.edu/botgarden/...]grows[/url] like the rainforest anyhow. Amazing place, music history aside.
It would be nice sometime to have an oriental garden, a vintage garden, a literary/Shakespeare garden, or something of the sort. I’d like that. I don’t want a lot in life, just someplace I can grow stuff.
[i][b]What are you going to grow this year?[/b][/i]
[i][b]S.[/b][/i]
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| They never named a whiskey after England |
| 03.17.04 (11:11 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]Faith and begorrah,[/b][/i] there's no one quite like the Irish...you kids remember that "Irish Drinking Songs" skit from SNL lo, these many years ago? Featuring the young Conan O'Brien in a gnarly green sweater? Besides such gems as my blog title for today, this seminal album purported to include other fine traditional tunes, such as:
[i][b]Face Down in the Heather
Up Comes My Supper
I’ll be Throwin’ Up Now
The Drinking/Fighting Song[/b][/i] ("Oh, we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink/Then we'll fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight and fight"...repeat 10x)
[i][b]The Drunken Irish Jew
The Incoherent Song[/b][/i] (everyone knows the lyrics to this one)
[i][b]I’ve Thrown Up on the Dog
The Ones That Aren’t Drinkin’ Are Dead[/b][/i] ("Oh, my father is drunk and my mother is drunk and my brother is drunk and my sister is drunk and my uncles are drunk and my cousins are drunk/And the ones that aren't drinkin' are dead...")
[i][b]And many more.[/b][/i] :shock:
[i][b]My pal Jen and I,[/b][/i] good Irish lasses that we are, never missed a chance to enjoy this wonderful holiday. These were especially good times when she was a student at the Catholic Disneyland, Notre Dame. But I guess the best St. Pat's we had was the year before we sadly had a falling out...we'd carried things a wee bit too far that evening, I suppose. We’d had our usual drunken Irish film fest. We'd bitched about whatever bit of political folderol was happening at the time. (We spent a LOT of time obsessing to an unhealthy degree over our heritage and all things attendant when we were angsty younguns. It was really kind of disturbing. In fact, I'm kind of glad you didn't know me then. Because I'm certainly not disturbed now, oh no siree bob.) That evening, we’d made black velvets and black and tans (perhaps the most politically-charged drink name ever?) and sucked down more than a few ounces of the Bushmills as well. As we were walking back to my place, I must have been just a touch pixilated, because I oddly, suddenly lost my balance for NO REASON AT ALL, whilst crossing my front lawn (although I was wearing heels; hmmm). I took a header and smacked my head on the concrete sidewalk (it felt so soft; like a marshmallow! heehee), burst into wild shrieking giggles, slowly turned over on my back, took a deep breath of the spring grass, stared up at the cloudless, starless night, and slurred the timeless question:
“Did I fall down?”
Jen (doubled over; also pissing herself with laughter):
“Yeah. You fell down.”
Me (after a brief pause to let the news sink in):
“Cool.”
[i][b]And then I passed out. [/b][/i]Them was the days. :D
[i][b]Also, we never understood [/b][/i]why the SNL skit talked about yacking so much. When the hell do the Irish ever toss their cookies? Seriously. When have you ever seen that? How come there weren't more songs about head-butting and crying and stuff?
[i][b]Sorry.[/b][/i] I've lifted a few tonight myself. Slainte. :wink:
[i][b]I usually[/b][/i] like to do something nifty today, like take a bodhran lesson, or practice my tin whistle (I ain't no [url=http://www.spiderstacy.com/]Spider Stacy[/url]), or slog through another dense bit of my Gaelic instruction book. I will never learn. I am stupid. But today, I met another friend to go see "In America". Holy wow, peoples. Thumbs up. We enjoy the [url=http://www.indiewire.com/peop...]Jim Sheridan[/url], yes.
[i][b]So now we come [/b][/i]to the part of my blog entry where my eyes are swimmy and I can't see straight and I just want to get done and pass out some more. I give you now my favorite real actual honest to goodness Irish drinking songs...whether you're humming them in the shower, paying to see others hum them, or listening to the records, you can't get much better than these. Dia duit. Sing 'em in good health.
[i][b]Back Home in Derry (by [url=http://www.xanga.com/home.asp...]Bobby Sands[/url])[/b][/i]
[i]In 1803 we sailed out to sea
Out from the sweet town of Derry
For Australia bound if we didn't all drown
And the marks of our fetters we carried.
In the rusty iron chains we sighed for our wains
As our good wives we left in sorrow.
As the mainsails unfurled our curses we hurled
On the Engllsh and thoughts of tomorrow.
chorus:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I wish I was back home in Derry.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I wish I was back home in Derry.
I cursed them to hell as our bow fought the swell.
Our ship danced like a moth in the firelights.
White horses rode high as the devil passed by
Taking souls to Hades by twilight.
Five weeks out to sea we were now forty-three
Our comrades we buried each morning.
In our own slime we were lost in a time.
Endless night without dawning.
chorus
Van Dieman's land is a hell for a man
To live out his life in slavery.
When the climate is raw and the gun makes the law.
Neither wind nor rain cares for bravery.
Twenty years have gone by and I've ended me bond
And comrades' ghosts are behind me.
A rebel I came and I'II die the same.
On the cold winds of night you will find me.
[i][b]Black Velvet Band[/b][/i]
[i]Her eyes they shone like the diamonds
You'd think she was queen of the land
And her hair hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.
In a neat little town they call Belfast
Apprenticed to trade I was bound
And many an hour's sweet happiness
I spent in that neat little town.
Till bad misfortune came o'er me
That caused me to stray from the land
Far away from my friends and relations
To follow the black velvet band.
Well, I was out strolling one evening
Not meaning to go very far
When I met with a pretty young damsel
Who was selling her trade in the bar.
When I watched, she took from a customer
And slipped it right into my hand
Then the Watch came and put me in prison
Bad luck to the black velvet band.
Next morning before judge and jury
For a trial I had to appear
And the judge, he said, "You young fellows...
The case against you is quite clear
And seven long years is your sentence
You're going to Van Dieman's Land
Far away from your friends and relations
To follow the black velvet band."
So come all you jolly young fellows
I'd have you take warning by me
Whenever you're out on the liquor, me lads,
Beware of the pretty colleen.
She'll fill you with whiskey and porter
Until you're not able to stand
And the very next thing that you'll know, me lads,
You're landed in Van Dieman's Land.
chorus[/i][/i]
[i][b]The Parting Glass[/b][/i]
[i]Of all the money that e'er I spent
I've spent it in good company
And all the harm that ever I did
Alas it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all
If I had money enough to spend
And leisure to sit awhile
There is a fair maid in the town
That sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips
I own she has my heart enthralled
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all
Oh, all the comrades that e'er I had
They're sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had
They'd wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be with you all[/i]
[i][b]Four Green Fields[/b][/i]
[i]What did I have, said the fine old woman
What did I have, this proud old woman did say
I had four green fields, each one was a jewel
But strangers came and tried to take them from me
I had fine strong sons, who fought to save my jewels
They fought and they died, and that was my grief said she
Long time ago, said the fine old woman
Long time ago, this proud old woman did say
There was war and death, plundering and pillage
My children starved, by mountain, valley and sea
And their wailing cries, they shook the very heavens
My four green fields ran red with their blood, said she
What have I now, said the fine old woman
What have I now, this proud old woman did say
I have four green fields, one of them's in bondage
In stranger's hands, that tried to take it from me
But my sons had sons, as brave as were their fathers
My fourth green field will bloom once again said she[/i]
[i][b]The Minstrel Boy[/b][/i]
[i]The Minstrel Boy to the war is gone
In the ranks of death you will find him
His father's sword he hath girded on
And his wild harp slung behind him
Land of Song! said the warrior bard
Tho' all the world betrays thee
One sword, at least, they rights shall guard
One faithful harp shall praise thee!
The Minstrel fell! But the foeman's chain
Could not bring that proud soul under
The harp he lov'd ne'er spoke again
For he tore its chords asunder
And said "No chains shall sully thee
Thou soul of love and brav'ry!
Thy songs were made for the pure and free,
They shall never sound in slavery![/i]
[i][b]I'll Tell Me Ma[/b][/i]
[i]Chorus
I'll tell me ma when I get home
The boys won't leave the girls alone
They pulled my hair, they stole my comb
But that's all right till I go home.
She is handsome, she is pretty
She is the belle of Belfast city
She is counting one, two, three
Please won't you tell me who is she.
Albert Mooney says he loves her
All the boys are fighting for her
They knock at the door and they ring at the bell
Sayin' "Oh my true love, are you well?"
Out she comes as white as snow
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
Old John Murray says she'll die
If she doesn't get the fellow with the roving eye.
Chorus
Let the wind and rain and the hail blow high
And the snow come tumblin' from the sky
She's as nice as apple pie
She'll get her own lad by and by.
When she gets a lad of her own
She won't tell her ma when she goes home
Let them all come as they will
For it's Albert Mooney she loves still.
Chorus (twice)[/i]
[i][b]The Croppy Boy (this is a real crowd-pleaser)[/b][/i]
[i]It was early, early in the spring
The birds did whistle and sweetly sing
Changing their notes from tree to tree
And the song they sang was Old Ireland free.
It was early early in the night,
The yeoman cavalry gave me a fright
The yeoman cavalry was my downfall
And I was taken by Lord Cornwall.
'Twas in the guard-house where I was laid,
And in a parlour where I was tried
My sentence passed and my courage low
When to Dungannon I was forced to go.
As I was passing my father's door
My brother William stood at the door
My aged father stood at the door
And my tender mother her hair she tore.
As I was going up Wexford Street
My own first cousin I chanced to meet;
My own first cousin did me betray
And for one bare guinea swore my life away.
As I was walking up Wexford Hill
Who could blame me to cry my fill?
I looked behind, and I looked before
But my aged mother I shall see no more.
And as I mounted the platform high
My aged father was standing by;
My aged father did me deny
And the name he gave me was the Croppy Boy.
It was in Dungannon this young man died
And in Dungannon his body lies.
And you good people that do pass by
Oh shed a tear for the Croppy Boy[/i]
[i][b]I think it's boss that I didn't have to change the color of my blog today,
Slan,
S.[/b][/i]
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| Girly fun! |
| 03.13.04 (12:02 am) [edit] |
[i][b]I have the best girlfriend.[/b][/i] No, not like that. :wink: M. is my very good friend and fellow librarian, and though I only met her a couple of years ago in liberry skool, and though there is an 8-year age difference between us, I cherish and understand her, and always have a wonderful time with her, no matter what we do. She is generous to a fault, kind, perceptive, sensitive, highly intelligent, loving and caring, and energetic. She is having a birthday this week! Hopefully she and her husband, R., will get to do something nice. They are busy with their new house, but have made time and space for me to visit a couple of times now. I can't think of a better host and hostess! Here's some doodads from my stay:
M. is just so good to me. She is always thinking of me and the Diet. Here is a delicious herbed navy bean salad she made!
[image]Sulkbrarian_841805 515.jpg[/image]
One night, we made citrus salsa (which seemed to take forever to make?) over lime-cilantro marinated grilled chicken breasts, on a bed of spring greens; roasted sweet potato fries with brown sugar, cinnamon, and lime juice; and steamed green beans drizzled with lemon juice. Very tasty!
[image]Sulkbrarian_821911 614.jpg[/image]
C. Howard's violet breath fresheners; a gift from M. So good.
[image]Sulkbrarian_120649 702.jpg[/image]
[i][b]M. also welcomed me[/b][/i] with her lovely crocheted hat and cookies she'd made and some yummy girly smelly things from the bath store. This was all placed on my bed, which was turned down when I got there. You don't get all that in five-star hotels, people! She's so sweet...
Delicious lime curd. We didn't know they made it in lime. Was delicious for breakfast inside of [url=http://www.kraftfoods.com/ste...]these[/url] anginetti cookies...paging [url=http://42short.blogspot.com]james kelly[/url]...
[image]Sulkbrarian_118750 9432.jpg[/image]
Okay, we freely admit it: only girls would do this. Fudgesicles dipped in kirsch and amaretto and vodka? What the hell?! Tasty, though!
[image]Sulkbrarian_542204 525.jpg[/image]
So since we were kind of slipping, we rallied and made lots of healthy hummus. We are very particular about the seasonings. We tweaked it till it was just right.
[image]Sulkbrarian_140499 0409.jpg[/image]
And since I was a little bad on my trip, I was good when I got back home. :)
[image]Sulkbrarian_177222 286.jpg[/image]
[i][b]This like a little culinary tour,[/b][/i] I've realized. We like to make things. And we like to shop for things to make things with. We also enjoyed some very, very good sushi which we ate outside the store in the back of M.'s pickup, tailgate style, 'cause it was a nice day.
At some point, we stumbled upon this chardonnay. Shouldn't that name be for some kind of porter or stout or something? Isn't it a little heavy-handed for a white wine?
[image]Sulkbrarian_103656 0940.jpg[/image]
[i][b]We did do other things [/b][/i]besides cook and eat...we visited a couple of local libraries, worked on our job hunts, went to a very highly-charged play called [url=http://www.repstl.org/mainsta...]"blue/orange"[/url], piddled a bit in the yard, and had a nice walk in the park. And gabbed and gabbed. You know. Like that.
The other thing we did was play with makeup again. This is a favorite pastime of girls, in case you did not know. It was like, THIS shade...
[image]Sulkbrarian_789167 841.jpg[/image]
...or THIS shade? For hours. :D Most enjoyable.
[image]Sulkbrarian_370853 633.jpg[/image]
[i][b]Looking forward to our next visit!
S.[/b][/i]
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| I'm one of my favorite books ever! |
| 03.10.04 (11:01 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]A happy Thursday[/b][/i] to you all, and a very happy birthday to [url=http://ladylibrarian.tblog.co...]Ladylibrarian[/url]. Go help her eat some birfdee cake! :)
[i][b]Borrowed this book quiz [/b][/i]from [url=http://www.eclecticlibrarian....]Eclectic Librarian[/url]. Sweet! I'm diseased, AND I'm loose!! A one-two punch combo if ever there was one. :roll:
You're Love in the Time of Cholera!
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
[i][b]What book are you?
S.[/b][/i]
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| So I was thinkin'... |
| 03.10.04 (10:30 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]...I could blog some more [/b][/i]about PLA, or I could just skip to the leisure stuff. Ooh, what a dilemma, huh? :wink:
[i][b]Before I blot it entirely out of my mind,[/b][/i] the only real blemish on the whole trip was the six-and-a-half hour flight delay I had coming home. There was both engine and throttle trouble on the plane I was supposed to take (and you know that excites me), so it was fine that they served us up a whole new plane, instead of making us get on the jacked-up one and spin the roulette wheel of the friendly skies. But meanwhile, I combed every duty-free shop, every souvenir shop, every book shop, almost every bathroom, and enjoyed both some overpriced [url=http://www.pyramidbrew.com/be...]Pyramid IPA[/url] and some overpriced [url=http://www.seattlesbest.com/s...]Seattle's Best[/url] before finally toddling back to Saint Louis. I'm not actually complaining here. There were cute babies to play with, and there was people watching to be done. There was even some furtive, restless napping. And lotsa folks have to wait much longer than I did, I know. I was just bummed because there went another chunk of time I could have been [url=http://www.elliottbaybook.com...]sightseeing[/url]!
[url=http://dilettante.com/store/g...]Dilettante Chocolate[/url] olfactory bliss, as portrayed by DJ. Local chocolate, like local coffee, local fruit, local seafood, and local brews, makes the Northwest a tasty place indeed. Why do I keep leaving and coming back here, then? It is unexplained.
[image]Sulkbrarian_295446 647.jpg[/image]
Folks, meet Seamus! I have spent many a happy hour in his friendly confines. Here, he gets a quart of oil to drink. DJ's ballsy travelling companion has weathered many a hard knock in indomitable style. True, Subarus are not Irish, and most cars are female, but Seamus here has a distinctly masculine tendency to recklessly head-butt everything in his path. Hence the name. Who's a good boy!!
[image]Sulkbrarian_106287 8657.jpg[/image]
Seamus' evil twin, and object of DJ's lust--the guy selling this custom off-road monster had so much fun driving it that he is now physically disabled. The thing probably just plays "Hurts So Good" on every radio station or something. Life is a trade off; what can you say?
[image]Sulkbrarian_678084 249.jpg[/image]
A lovely day at [url=http://www.gonorthwest.com/Wa...]Alki Beach[/url]. We enjoyed a nice drive (I gawked at the verdant, lush greenery and floral fireworks in the neighborhood gardens; it was February and there was forsythia), a late lunch at the Lighthouse Grill, and sweets and [url=http://www.titalia.com/site/a...]coffee[/url] [url=http://alkibakery.com/]here[/url]. Both places served delicious goodies and had awesome views. The bakery, though...I mean, any establishment that serves something called a "monkey cookie" deserves to be heartily lauded, right?
[image]Sulkbrarian_960718 91.jpg[/image]
Yep, it's dorks times two. It's a twofer. Oh my.
[image]Sulkbrarian_135265 8764.jpg[/image]
Gulls-a-poppin'!
[image]Sulkbrarian_104478 9267.jpg[/image]
Giant seagull attacks Space Needle! Film at eleven!
[image]Sulkbrarian_128050 4079.jpg[/image]
Skid row...
[image]Sulkbrarian_109501 2921.jpg[/image]
King of the rock-skippers!
[image]Sulkbrarian_139440 4285.jpg[/image]
Don't you love it? We had many prescriptions filled my last evening in town. Made a big dent in [url=http://www.themacallan.com/]this bottle[/url]. [url=http://www.thetrianglelounge....]The Triangle Lounge[/url], Fremont.
[image]Sulkbrarian_347383 513.jpg[/image]
Back in Missouri, my sweet friend M. was needlessly apologetic for "not having a proper glass". I didn't care; I was just thrilled to find, most unexpectedly, [url=http://www.rogue.com/brews.ht...]this[/url] delicious nectar at her local Wild Oats! And it suffered none. Mmmmmmmm. Yes...I was a little bad on my trip.
[image]Sulkbrarian_700634 332.jpg[/image]
This is the beautiful hat that M. made me! It is a wee bit big, but tell me if that isn't a cute style! She just crocheted it without a pattern! Her second hat ever--the first was for her younger sister, in some lovely shades of aqua and purple homespun-weight yarn and fun fur. I love it. Thank you again, M.!
[image]Sulkbrarian_950035 582.jpg[/image]
[i][b]Next time...more fun at M.'s house!
xoxo Sulky[/b][/i]
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| Things and stuff |
| 03.07.04 (1:59 pm) [edit] |
[i][b][Ed. note--y'all head on over to [url=http://librarism.com/parade.h...]Brian's[/url]. His "Librarians on Parade" list has grown exponentially over the last several weeks, it looks like. Good stuff! While you're at it, check out [url=http://librarianguish.blogdri...]Librarianguish[/url], [url=http://knitting.skagirlie.net...]The Knitting Librarians[/url], [url=http://www.melbalee.com/]Melba Lee[/url], [url=http://www.librarian-image.ne...]You Don't Look Like a Librarian![/url], [url=http://lostinthestacks.typepa...]Jess[/url], [url=http://libboy.diaryland.com/]Lib Boy[/url], [url=http://yoko.typepad.com/]Yoko[/url], [url=http://goddesslibrarian.blogs...]goddesslibrarian[/url], [url=http://waterlilysage.blogspot...]waterlilysage[/url], and the lovely and fictitious [url=http://asknettieday.blogspot....]Miss Nettie Day[/url].][/b][/i]
[i][b]Hey all.[/b][/i] My friend [url=http://www.pinkplaidface.blog...]Pinky[/url] was lamenting the fact that a lot of bloggers all over seem to have fallen off updating of late, but I look through your blogs, and I see that I am much more guilty of this than others! It’s just…you know how you can just get into a space where you simply do not feel like writing? Yep. When that happens to me, I don’t force it; I just wait till the little light goes on in my head, and then I feel like writing again. :)
[i][b][url=http://www.pikeplacemarket.or...]Pike Place Market[/url], [/b][/i]with Elliott Bay in the distance.
[image]Sulkbrarian_792693 749.jpg[/image]
[i][b]So about PLA![/b][/i] There were great programs (the YA programs were especially amazing; I kind of flitted around too collecting handouts from sessions I wanted to attend but couldn‘t), great exhibits (there were about 800 vendors, and they had awesome giveaways and receptions; [url=http://www.benstein.com/]Ben Stein[/url], [url=http://www.kuow.org/thebeat_b...]Nancy Pearl[/url], and the [url=http://www.overduemedia.com/]“Unshelved”[/url] folks were all there…I had to go three times to make sure I covered all the booths), great luncheons (which were very enjoyable because of the speakers, even though there was very tasty food; I saw [url=http://www.eethelbertmiller.c...]E. Ethelbert Miller[/url], the [url=http://pbskids.org/lions/]“Between the Lions“[/url] crew--had my picture taken with [url=http://pbskids.org/lions/leon...]Leona[/url]!, and [url=http://www.barnesandnoble.com...]Nancy Farmer[/url]). There were very good receptions and the whole thing was organized very well, overall. (It was better than the one ALA national conference I attended; I loved that we were all public librarians, and it was much more intimate, although attendance was very high indeed. Also, we got awesome nylon “idiot-proof” badge holders with pockets and zippers, hanging on those cool adjusta-cord thingies, and really nice tote bags--important, because as you know, the one who dies with the most tote bags, wins).
[i][b]I had a two-day preconference[/b][/i] about defending intellectual freedom in the library that completely kicked ass. I learned more from that than I did from just reading on my own, or in liberry skool. I asked a lot of questions the first day, and I guess the moderator liked that, so the next day she had me and this other chatty younger librarian perform three skits about how to handle challenges. I got to be the librarian. It was most amusing! Also met all kinds of fantastic librarians from every place you can think of (and a few newbie librarians like myself; it was very comforting to get to talk about our frustrating, protracted job hunts together), exchanged a lot of business cards, did a lot of networking. Got to hang out with some downtown, and have drinks and dinner. It actually got pretty funny…despite the variety of ’brarians there, the majority of conference attendees were rather similar to each other, appearance-wise…till you could tell who in a six-block radius was a librarian and who was not! Ran into some folks I knew from other systems, and from my state library, and that was nice.
[i][b]Also[/b][/i] had some very nice interviews with a few folks, both formal, and impromptu. Collected lots of job opportunities (now that DJ and I are no longer “together”, I am looking at other places besides the Northwest…although that is definitely where I want to live, if not right now, someday soon) and am busy filling out many applications. Hopefully something will come of all this.
[i][b]It was also a treat[/b][/i] to listen to [url=http://www.randomhouse.com/fe...]Anna Quindlen[/url], [url=http://www.fallsapart.com/]Sherman Alexie[/url], and even [url=http://www.saga.co.uk/magazin...]Bill Gates, Sr.[/url] (funny, funny guy--made fun of his offspring a lot) give really top-notch speeches. The [url=http://www.wsctc.com/]conference center[/url] itself was very pretty and user-friendly. Much applause for the signage. I hate bad signage. Even the PLA signage had the ALA signage beat all to hell.
[i][b]The vibe[/b][/i] at the conference was the same as the overall Seattle vibe: mellow. Very easygoing, very laidback, nice and calm. I adore that. DJ used to remind me, “Remember, you’re on the West Coast now.” And there’s always time for a cup of coffee, always. In fact, there were many long, really well-done, built-in coffee breaks (although they were serving Starbucks, they also served chai and Tazo tea, so that made me happy). I also liked that there was already a carafe of coffee on every table at meals. Just, automatically. Before anything else was served. No going around asking folks if they WANT coffee. Nope. :wink:
[i][b]Got to scope out [/b][/i]the new, gorgeous, sparkly glittery glass [url=http://www.spl.org/default.as...]central branch[/url] of SPL, as well as its' [url=http://www.spl.org/default.as...]temporary home[/url], right across the street from the conference center. Damn nice facility, even for temporary. Met a cute adult fiction librarian named David, whom I kept running into in sessions and luncheons. Great smile, very friendly. Ah, well. :)
[i][b]Another thing that happened [/b][/i]was that I think I was "made" a few times as [i][b]Sulkbrarian[/b][/i] . Almost every day I was there, someone was loooooooooooookin' at me...usually younger-type-folks...like I had spinach in my teeth or something. Perhaps that was the case! But it was this look of recognition, and sometimes a kind of wry smile. That's what I get for posting my picture! I had considered making a [i][b]fling fling![/b][/i] t-shirt for this trip, but fortunately managed to restrain myself. :D
[i][b]More later--[/b][/i]good pictures-about-town to show you, and more stories, but image uploading right now is going way too slow. Grrr...
[i][b]Sucks to be home,
xoxo S.[/b][/i]
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| Hiya everbuddy! |
| 03.03.04 (1:01 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]Hiya![/b][/i] Missed you folks. Thanks for keepin' on keepin' on, visiting [b][i]fling fling![/i][/b] and checkin' for updates! I think it's boss that I can refrain from posting anything for well over a week and my hits are still the same. Hey! There's an idea. Just, I won't post anything, ever, and you all just keep coming back here to see if I've been able to stick to that plan. If I ever write as much as a syllable, then, game over.
[i][b]Yeah.[/b][/i]
[i][b]So I'm going home tomorrow...[/b][/i]I've been at M.'s house in St. Louis for a few days. We've been enjoying ourselves most enjoyably. And I had a good conference, and some job interviews. Will be blogging all dat schtuff soon.
[i][b]But also wanted[/b][/i] to drop in to say...there's been lots of drama and heavy convo and discussion and canoodling and big talking time going on recently between my DJ and me. DJ and I. Me. Whatever. And the gist of it is, he and I are always going to be very good friends. I know this sounds really abrupt, but it has been in the works for a while now...I now am in possession of lots of information and facts and history and perspective and things I didn't have before. I know lots of stuff now that I never knew. And all of it explains a lot of things that were said, and all the things that happened. It is much clearer to me now what happened with us and why, and I'm not going to publicize all of this very personal stuff that was going on with DJ, but if I did...and you can absolutely take my word on this...it would be clear to you as well. Just take it from me that while I am still very hurt (after all, I am still in love with him, and I have no idea how to turn that off, nor any desire to do so), and somewhat shellshocked from some surprising revelations, DJ is a good man who deserves happiness and a good friend. Which is me. :) I did what I could with the information I had, and my previous heartbroken, angry posts reflected the position of me operating in the dark. I now have the full picture...and I'm not angry anymore.
[i][b]I thought as well...[/b][/i]if we all cut loose everyone who ever unintentionally hurt us, we'd be very lonesome indeed. And I have a lot of friends. But he is my best friend. And I can't imagine not having him in my life in some fashion. I'm not letting anyone walk all over me, believe me. He knows he hurt me, and he is sorry for it. But I am a forgiving person and a loving person. He is lucky to have me. :wink:
[i][b]So that's it for now.[/b][/i] Silly pictures and stories soon. Sorry I've dropped outta sight again! Hard to keep up with this on the road. Some can, I'm just too lazy. :P
[i][b]Take care, thanks for reading as always,
S. [/b][/i]
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"i read your
manifestoes
and your strange religious tracts
you took me
to your library
and kissed me
in the stacks."
magnetic fields,
"swinging london"
michael moore
on librarians:
"they want you
to be quiet
because
they're trying
to plot
the revolution."
BlogSearchEngine
Blogarama
"i heard
a sound
i turned
around
i turned
around
to find
the thing
that made
the sound mysterious whisper mysterious whisper mysterious whisper mysterious whisper i walk along darkened corridors and i walk along darkened corridors and i walk along darkened corridors and i walk along darkened corridors." they might be giants, "fingertips"
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